I truly believe everything we do and everyone we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers (and students) – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks …
– Marla Gibbs
Until I started blogging, I had no idea how making choices was such a big part of writing.
Here are seven things I have learned.
1. I am making the choice to listen … so I can hear you. I was the listener who planned his next comment several turns out. I knew where I wanted to go, so that was where I tried to push our conversation. Now I am trying not to lead the conversation but to follow along. If I am going to tell your story, I need to listen to your story; to understand it.
2. To fully consume the moment. I am more present today; trying to take in fully each event and understand what I am consuming. Before, my mind often moved on long before the event was over. My choice now is to stay fully immersed.
3. I have found a new clearness in my mind. I am clearer about what matters to me and where I want to focus my energy – what I want to write about and what I want to think about. Before there were too many ‘apps’ open in my thinking – none of them could perform well. Now I am finding that putting aside some tasks allows more energy for the task at hand.
4. Seeing the entire story before beginning. Before blogging, I might just think, well, that’s interesting and move on. Now I play the entire story out in my mind, thinking about where else it could go and how else it could end. I look for value; sometimes the story does not have much to offer – it has no value. That is okay, I just drop it and go on to the next idea.
Other times I find a story within a story – a sidebar that is interesting and can be cut loose to grow into its own story. That provides sustainability in storytelling – a good harvest.
5. Just do the work. My choice to blog has shown me that writing is hard and takes work. Before, my writing was not careful. Now I place the burden of clarity on me as the writer. If I am clear and engaging, you will stick around. If you stop reading … well, that’s my point.
6. To write in my own voice. I grew up in the world of corporate ‘we’ speak, where writing was often used to impress even more than to convey meaning. Now I try to speak in the first person and not hide behind a plural, group voice. I want to be clear and direct, not because I am writing to impress but because I am writing to inform – to share my thoughts and experiences.
7. To look for an image, not a snapshot. Before blogging, I did not pay attention to the power of an image to deepen a story. Now, I try to capture images that give my stories more clarity and help the story develop.
The more the image can carry the story, the fewer words necessary. That model has an appealing economy for me.
Looking back at these lessons, I wish my trip would have started sooner. But it has begun and that is good. The next phase will be sustaining the journey while I continue to look for more lessons to pile on my list.
Are these seven lessons important? Can you tell me about times in your life when these lessons appeared for you?
Has a new job, hobby or activity helped you see things you did not know? How did that help you grow?
Can you describe ways that looking back has given you a clearer path into your future?
As always, the conversation starts here.
“In the ordinary choices of every day we begin to change the direction of our lives.”
– Eknath Easwaran
I have written for years, but hit a roadblock when I did not succeed in publishing my novel. Now I must decide if the writing itself is enough reward.
Elaine – Thanks for being part of the conversation and for your writing. I think there are two types of writers – published and not published yet. The decision on what is next with your writing can only be made by you, of course. For me, I am just blogging and that seems like a smaller step. I do not know if anything will ever be published. I do know that I have benefitted from blogging as I list in the 7 lessons. I also know that I draw energy from having people like you comment on a post, like… Read more »
This piece shares sound wisdom and can be applied to wherever we are in life. Thank you Bruce for sharing your nuggets through your blog.
Ella –
Thanks for reading Choices Do Matter and for being part of the conversation. Yes, it took blogging for me to learn these – I am glad I did. It seems that after opening the door labeled Blogging, there were 7 more doors…I am excited to see what doors are next for me.
I hope you continue to join in our discussions, as moved.
– Bruce
It is good to read this. That first lesson seems to be coming up for me lately–I just read a quote about the 3 “gatekeepers” before speaking (is it true/kind/necessary), and also just talking with a friend about listening without trying to hold on to whatever I was thinking I wanted to say….
Also, the hard work of what you do, to “blog”! It seems the same with music, and so many other things… so I am inspired by your discipline.
Thank you for writing this (in your own voice:)
-Gretchen
Gretchen ––
Thanks for commenting and for being part of the Choices Do Matter family.
Your story at https://www.choicesdomatter.org/buskers-matter/ is a favorite. It gave me the valuable message so many are offering when we make the choice to listen:
“…I’m just putting my drops in the bucket.” Gretchen Yanover
http://www.gretchenyanover.com
Thank you for what you do for so many of us…
– Bruce
Bruce, Awesome post. Blogging got me going again too. Personally I loved writing at a very young age. Somehow I got off that track as I got into college. When Dad died my junior year, I had to power through (ignore) the pain to get classes, graduate on time, get home, get a job, insurance, housing, and be there for mom. My ultimate plan was to do all this, thrive in my career, have kids, then go back to work. Ha ha! Mom got dx. with ALS when I was 29. We moved here, had kids, mom died, and now… Read more »
Amy –
Thanks for your comment. Yes, I wish I had learned my 7 lessons earlier.
Your post on your mother’s ALS is a powerful story that all should read. Thanks for posting it.
– Bruce
Hi Bruce!!
I love this article. It speaks to me both as a writer and as an individual. I’m a writer whose unpublished, also going through writers block. As a writer, I see the I tire story before beginning, write a basic outline, and unfortunately quite. Maybe Blogging is what I should be doing.
By the by, that Marla Gibb quote at the beginning, wonderful choice. I also believe just that.
Take care,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth, Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Blogging was my way of starting. Writing a longer story or even a full book, with all of the side-bars and sub-plots would be too confusing for me now – maybe someday I can string a number of stories into something longer. The fourth lesson of seeing the entire story before beginning to write is helping me only tell one story at a time and to save the side-bars for future stories. I think of that as a conservation effort. The Marla Gibbs quote is powerful for me also. I am glad you… Read more »