“Everything in moderation, including moderation.” ― Oscar Wilde
Like many, I often think about downsizing. Living in less space and with less stuff would be good for me – and our planet.
The more I study the subject, the more interesting it sounds. I’m told how less can be more, providing me with the benefits of a life in minimalism.
Then I think about what to keep and what to step away from. What would those items be and how would I make the choices?
Many minimalists suggest we should aim to own fewer than 100 things. That’d be hard, I think. The final selections would be very, very painful – and I don’t like pain.
Recognizing I needed professional advice on how to minimize, and with less pain, I asked a new friend if we could have coffee. He’s an interior design professional with an outstanding reputation, so he would know.
Coffee is my favorite kind of meeting and I believe where you meet matters, so I suggested my usual favorite, but Loyd had an even better choice.
He invited me to join him in his minimized home.
Loyd Dillon lives in a two bedroom condo with his wife, Brenda, and their cat, Willy.
It’s a much smaller space than the large house where they raised their three sons, but it’s what they need now.
The moment the door opened, I knew I had met a friend.
After hellos, Loyd offered the usual tour, saying it would only take a minute and then we could sit down for our coffee and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Though the space was not large, it was magnificent. Every piece of furniture, picture, piece of art or decor had been carefully chosen and displayed in an uncluttered and unique way. This minimized home is now the couple’s refuge and sanctuary, and everything in it reflects their many years together.
Each item had its own love story. I spotted one because of a childhood memory of my own – an old transistor radio.
“How did we decide what to keep and what to let go? That was tough. For us, an item had to have meaning. Monetary value alone was …well, meaningless. I won that little transistor radio in a Kellogg’s coloring contest. It has lasted from elementary school to today. It went on family camping trips. It was our news source during the week-long Hurricane Hugo power outage. And it still works! Books were the hardest for us. 2,000 of them had to go. Most went to Habitat For Humanity, any others to Goodwill. 15 to the rare book room at UNCC, others to the Mint Museum, Two of them — both illustrated and signed by Romare Bearden — are part of a small exhibit on display at the museum’s Randolph Road location until October 1. But … hahah a…we still have another 2,000 books in our small condo.”
They didn’t get down to a hundred, but Brenda and Loyd are doing with less. So paraphrasing Oscar Wilde, “Everything in moderation, including minimalism.” I’m glad Loyd chose his “best spot” for coffee that morning.
Now let’s start our own list of 100 keepers. What would make the list and why? Tell me about something you could never live without? Hint: be sure to include the meaning.
Now look up from your computer screen, I’ll give you a moment to adjust your eyes. Do you see memories or only items chosen to perform a function? That table, the chair, the lamp? Tell me their story. Like Loyd’s choices, it will be the memories, not the value, that will decide their fate.
As always, the conversation starts here.
“In the ordinary choices of every day we begin to change the direction of our lives.” – Eknath Easwaran
Epilogue
This CPCC video shows Loyd teaching his interior design class.
I want to sign up, not to learn design but to watch a wonderful teacher in action.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Bruce! I feel truly honored to be part of your excellent blog AND to be able to now count you as a friend. With the aging population in this country, downsizing is (not to be funny) a BIG thing. The sensitive way you present the question of what to keep is beautiful and will help many with their decisions.
Loyd –
…and thank you for helping me see the choice that matters most.
In minimalism, and in life, it’s not form nor function but memory that sets the stage.
– Bruce
Bruce, Norie and I are in the process of “minimalizing in moderation”. We started about 3-4 months ago (way before the church announced the book “Enough”), “downsizing” to one car. We are now going through everything we have, before moving to a 2-bedroom condo — half the size our current house (yet still equal to 3 houses in El Salvador…). We sold antiques, passed “stuff” to relatives and friends, and so far have logged 8 car-loaded trips to Habitat’s ReStore, and 5 to the Salvation Army. Now we have to accelerate the process, as we found “the right place” meeting… Read more »
Enrique –
Thank you for joining the conversation, and congratulations – it sounds like you and Norie are indeed underway.
Yes, liberation is the reward for minimization. And to think it was there all along.
– Bruce
Hi Bruce, great post and thoughts. Very timely as I listened to a Minimalists podcast today while cleaning out the garage. As I’ve been talking to my brother this week as their home in Houston still sits with feet of water inside, possessions and things have been on my mind a lot. Most things I see in my home do serve a function vs. being sentimental but one thing that would make the “100 list” is a bound book of emails that my husband and I exchanged during our cross-country courtship nearly 15 years ago. It truly tells the story… Read more »
Heather – I’m sorry about your brother and his family in Houston. I worry now about our friends in Florida. These storms are so powerful. I pray everyone will be safe. Your list of 100 will be good. The gardening tools are important, and the eMails are priceless – maybe copies in a safe deposit box or in The Cloud would be a good plan. Certain memories, like your letters, can never be replaced. Years ago, an elderly widow neighbor passed away. When her children and grandchildren ventured into her old attic, a task they had been dreading, they were… Read more »
Bruce – I’m so glad you met and made fast friends with Lloyd. You two seem so compatable. I took Lloyd’s design class at Queens College 13 or 14 years ago. He helped my husband and me pick out our first pieces of furniture for our two bedroom home before we had children. Now, three houses and three children later we still have those pieces and I still have my handouts from that class with his illustrations/doodles on them. When Mecklenberg Furniture closed I lost track of him, I’m so glad to see that he is doing well and still… Read more »
Christy –
I’m happy to learn my story re-connected you with Loyd. Yes, his smile is infectious. I can’t think of ever being upset with or by him.
I’m also glad you are still using the pieces you selected together years ago, that’s always a sign in a good relationship.
Thanks for being part of the conversation. Come back often.
– Bruce
I love the idea of minimizing! We downsized about 7 years ago. Really tough thing to do but makes for an uncluttered space and mind. The rule in our house is if you haven’t used it within a year time period you don’t need it! I kept my childhood 100 piece Lego airport set from 1974 and still have the original box and ALL the pieces stored just as it was when I received it that Christmas morning. Too many family memories and good times for me to let that go 😉
Chris –
Yes, for me there is more to minimizing than just letting go of my stuff. De-cluttering space in my mind can be my biggest reward. Thanks for being part of the discussion.
P.S. Do you still use your Lego set? Maybe you get it out at Christmas and build the airport under the tree?
– Bruce
The Christmas tree is a great idea! I’ll do that this year 😊
Chris –
For me, memories matter more when they are out in the open – in sight– not tucked away in a drawer or closet.
It was Loyd’s old radio that caught my eye; then started a conversation, that started a story.
Merry Christmas.
– Bruce
Excellent and thought provoking. I run my art business in our town home, and that requires a certain amount of space, for a painting studio, materials storage, print production, matting/framing, and on and on. As far as possessions go, I have a couple of special guitars that hold many memories within their maple and spruce, and I’ll never let them go. My latest paintings are around, and I enjoy their company until somebody steps up to acquire one for their collection. I have accumulated quite a few books over the years, and I remind myself from time to time that… Read more »
Dan –
Thanks for joining in. You have both your home AND your office in your space, so that entitles you to more *things* (smile).
It does sound like you have used Loyd’s rule of “meaning” in your selections. Your guitars, some of your art, and your books are all items that will help you relive those favorite memories as you get older.
– Bruce
Paul and I downsized from a 2800 sq. ft. house to a 1258 sq. ft. two bedroom, two bath condo four years ago. It was fairly easy to let go of most items, but we still have several things in storage that we aren’t ready to part with yet. My sister and I are now closing down my mother’s apartment, moving her to a Family Care Home. The pictures are what I want to keep – and her hutch. Interesting, there were several favorite old pictures we hadn’t been able to find; we finally found them in a box in… Read more »
Evelyn –
You have reduced your space by over 50%. What a great example you and Paul are setting for us.
Labeling the envelope “favorites” is important. That tells you of her special memories.
I have one old picture from my mother’s collection that only says, “Taken last fall” on the back. That’s a start yet there are unanswered questions about who they are, where it was taken, and WHAT fall was the last fall. HaHa
Thanks for your comments.
– Bruce
Wow, Bruce, you have hit a hotspot here! I am forwarding this to my mother who will be downsizing very soon again… And my daughter and son-in-law who hope to move to Europe for a few years and will need to downsize for that. And me… still visiting that storage unit until I know where my next place will be 😉
Frances –
Thanks for joining the conversation. For sure, we all have more than we need so finding the right balance is hard. It’s said less is more, and while that’s true, there are some things I don’t want to part with.
For me, if there is a strong memory there is a strong bond and that makes the choice very hard.
Good luck on finding your next place.
– Bruce