“If my public announcements can help others, then my choices do matter.” – Bruce McIntyre, Choices Do Matter
I was a smoker.
Back in the day, nearly everyone smoked. We smoked in airplane cabins, restaurants, doctors offices (along with our doc). We smoked when and where we wanted and nobody made us go outside, in the rain, to do it. Besides, the tobacco industry said, “It’s good for your health” so we pretended to believe them, and kept on smoking.
But then the teachers at our children’s school started telling the students how smoking was NOT good for people. They were saying that it was actually bad, even for others in the room!
They had the children make posters about the dangers of tobacco and the serious effects it would have on everyone. They were scaring my kids, but they were RIGHT.
In those days, I always had several cigarettes in the pack next to the alarm clock, ready for the morning. One evening, in the Fall of 1974, I found I didn’t have any more cigarettes in my pack. I went to the kitchen junk drawer in search of a few more for my morning routine. All I found was junk.
NO CIGARETTES!
My son had done it again. I hurried to his bedroom, grabbed him by both shoulders and demanded to know where he had hidden the cigarettes!
Waking my not yet four year old son from a sound sleep and speaking to him in an angry voice was not good parenting. It was not a good choice. I knew that I needed to make some changes!
My changes needed to be quick, and I wanted them to be lasting. I needed to come up with a plan that would make this change last a lifetime.
The best way I knew to do it was to bet everyone for the next two months that when they saw me in 1975 I would no longer be a SMOKER. After they stopped laughing, I explained the wager.
“I will quit smoking on the first day of 1975. From then on, if you catch me smoking I will pay you $20. The bet goes forever, so even if you catch me in 20 years, I still pay you $20. There is no risk to you, but a big risk (and cost) to me if I ever smoke again.”
People were encouraging. They wanted to see me quit smoking more than they needed my $20. I made this one sided bet with family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. All the names were on one piece of paper. I don’t have the list anymore, but if I smoke again and you tell me you were on my list, I owe you $20.
At midnight, on December 31, 1974 I ceremoniously pitched all my cigarettes, along with my gold Dunhill lighter, into the roaring fire in our family room.
That holiday weekend was murder. I stayed in my pajamas, spending most of the time in bed. I knew if I got dressed I was off to the nearest store.
Work wasn’t any better, they were all on the list. “How’s it going?” “You doin’ okay?”
They were not concerned about my health; they had their hand out for the $20.
Sure, I could have stopped on the way home from the office and bought a pack at a gas station to smoke in secret. But that was never the plan. I was quitting, once and for all.
That was over 41 years ago. Never once – not even a puff – in all those years. My public plan worked.
It is not about saying, “I will do it someday.” I needed to write it down, put dates on it, and make it public.
That is why I made my Unifying Principles public so long ago. Also why I made my New Year’s Resolution of not buying any new clothes in 2016 public.
Of course, I could just do these things and that would be fine. But by going public two things happen. First, I put pressure on myself to comply. Second, others learn of my choice and may be moved to make similar choices for themselves. That gives my choice a ripple effect that matters more and for longer, I hope.
What about you? Do you make public announcements or do you keep quite about your plans? Will you give me some examples?
Do you agree with mixing your personal goals with any of your professional goals? Is this a good practice or bad? Again, share some examples with me, please.
As always, the conversation starts here.
“In the ordinary choices of every day we begin to change the direction of our lives.” – Eknath Easwaran
Epilogue
Raffy Ballesil has some similar beliefs. He is all about, “Connecting People, Changing Minds, Changing Lives.”
Ballesil says, “SUCCESS IS SO SWEET IF YOU BRING OTHERS WITH YOU.”
See if you agree:
My change was private and not public like yours. Both of my parents smoked so in high school I would occasionally sneak a cigarette. In college my consumption increased and continued until sometime in the 1970’s. My wife and 2 children worked on me pretty good to quit. So I did. Not really. I just switched to a pipe for a few years. But one night I was driving a customer from High Point to Elkin and reached for my pipe – while driving no less. Alas, my tobacco pouch was empty. So late at night on that lonely stretch… Read more »
Richard – Thanks for your comment. The important thing is that you quit. That is quite a story. I remember how fastidious pipe smokers could be – scrapping out the pipe bowl, packing the tobacco just so, lighting the pipe on fire, then tamping down the burning leaves. All of that while driving sounds worse than texting. It is a good thing you were out of tobacco or both you and your customer might not be around today. Congratulation. Not everyone needs to be so public of course. It just adds pressure for me and that seems to help. –… Read more »
I know first hand about this topic.
Michael –
Yes? What first hand comments can you share?
– Bruce
Thanks for sharing this really good story, Bruce. It shows how ‘there’s a will, there’s a way!’ I have a similar story to share. Actually, it’s not my story, but my husband’s. Louis was a smoker forty some years ago. Like what you said, it was fashionable and favorable then. He’d picked up this habit during his college years. Despised the fact that I’m allergic to smoking, he was unwilling and unable to quit after we got married. I remembered those dirty ashtrays and burned counter-top days. Then, a couple of years later, he had to have a tonsillectomy. After… Read more »
Rose –
Sometimes it does require hard evidence, like coughing something up to make a choice. The good news is that Louis quite then and there and has never smoked again.
Thank you for your comment and for joining the Choices Do Matter family.
– Bruce
I like the “both/and” idea of giving up something and giving something. I’m working on that “giving something” part. Jesus once said, “I call you to go forth and bear fruit and that your fruit may remain.” I’m trying to identify that fruit and spread it around.
Jack –
Thanks for your comment. My thought is simple. If others learn of my choice and are moved to make similar choices there is a ripple effect that matters more and for longer than I may ever know.
I am not telling others what to do or giving advice, only saying publicly what I am doing (or did). Others can make their own choices.
Maybe this is a larger subject that requires a cup of tea or coffee to explore.
– Bruce